Or, Getting My Blogging Mojo Back on Track for the New Year
So thankful for the graces of this day:
for my husband’s love, patience and faithfulness,
for the blessing of having my mother and brother attend,
for my older children who so lovingly and actively participate in the growth and nurturing of their new younger siblings,
and for our beloved church and priests who guide us day by day toward holiness.
Thank you, Father Ramirez, for bringing our little ones into the fold!
Look. It’s obvious that the second half of 2018 was a wash here in the Nettieverse. In a mountain-and-valley-filled year, January 1 through December 31 included heights such as 15 birthdays, holidays, trips to the ranch, the excitement of a new school, the adoption of six new Heidmanns, (three of whom received their long-awaited sacraments of Baptism, Confirmation and Holy Communion!) and innumerable play-filled moments, some of which I happened to catch with either camera or phone.
But there were some valleys as well, times of crisis that challenged my … what? Not my faith, that much is solid. My perseverance, I guess, more than anything. There were broken limbs, broken hearts, confrontations and drama, a new seizure diagnosis to manage, a broken back and a heart attack, the ongoing struggles of our younger kids with ASD, ADHD, ODD, BPD, and all kinds of manifestations of PTSD, and the passing of a beloved grandfather, who finished his race here on earth on May 17th, 2018. Grieving that huge loss has certainly colored, if not lessened, all the many joys and blessings that followed.
If there is one refrain that has been a constant over this past year in all the reading I have done it is this: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge pain, honor the process of grieving, take all the time, and whatever measures you need, to heal.
So this is my moment to acknowledge the truth of our year: we’ve been through a lot, and we’re still in recovery. And here’s another truth I need to acknowledge: as the mother-unit of this family, and you moms out there can back this up, I have to process my own stuff as well as being attuned to and a participant in the way every other family member is processing theirs. That can sometimes become a staggeringly heavy load.
Here’s how I’m doing with that:
- Releasing what I cannot control. Sometimes many times a day!
- Forgiving the people I need to forgive. Myself included.
- Letting myself off the hook for missed months on the blog, and catching up the pictures
todaybefore the New Year. - Being kind to myself by taking care of myself a little better. Not all the things at once, just a little at a time. Like my #noexcusesnovember where I kept track of my walking via Fitbit and tried to meet a goal each day. December’s goal was to tackle consistency with my diet, but that was overly ambitious. January sounds better!
- Making time to meet up with a friend regularly – and bless my husband, he encourages me to get away and be refreshed this way.
- Joining two other moms – strong, wise, talented women who inspire me – to study the Word, pray together, and spark each other’s creativity. This is a gift. If this were a larger group, I would not have been able to make myself do it – people are honestly too intimidating for me. But just three of us? I can do this, I want to do it, and I am looking forward to growth in myself in this area.
- Praying more. Or maybe I’m praying that I will pray more. I want to, I’m aiming for it, and have to hope that God will honor that desire and bless me with the opportunities, even just moments, when I can consciously stop and pray each day.
Minutes from now, the clock will chime midnight and Christmas Eve will arrive. Our next two days will be packed with joy and celebration, family and gifts, music and worship.
Come, thou long expected Jesus! I am ready. I am ready to soak in the love and let Grace do it’s work in me.
Stay tuned in the next few days for a photo dump to finish off 2018!
I’m excited to hit reset for the new year, both personally and here on the blog.
