One Year Aspie-versary

(Cross-post from Our Fascinating Journey with Asperger’s Syndrome)

I really meant to do this two months ago, since February 4th marked the anniversary of “D” Day, but one thing does tend to drive out another, and here we are, nearly through April…

There’s no really organized way to review this past year… it has just been a process of looking at our boy with new eyes, appreciating him from this new perspective, and tackling his nurture and education fortified with the enlightenment that came with the diagnosis as well as our own ongoing education about autism.  I have read countless articles and blogs throughout this first year, both from the perspective of parents as well as adult  autistics.  I’ve learned much about the autism spectrum and where I fall on that spectrum, and have come to appreciate the neurodiversity (formerly known as “quirkiness”) of my family-of-origin as well.   We’ve always been a colorful bunch, so Jacob just fits right in, perhaps adding a touch of neon here and there for emphasis.

Progress:

*    Self care has improved, albeit slowly, and we continue to work on that with enthusisasm and determination.  Now that Jacob is in braces, brushing his teeth is an even greater challenge, but I’m very pleased with his desire to be independent, and willingness to do it himself for the most part, despite how many times I have to send him back to the sink to work on it some more.

*    I have learned to be more proactive in my follow through on instructions…. it took me a long time and concerted effort to shift from the philosophy that “Children rise to their parents expectations,” which certainly has been true for my NTs, and to realize that, at least for now, I needed to make these two old nuggets – “Repetition is Essential” and “Trust, but Verify” – my parenting mantras.  At this point in time, they must be applied to every single solitary instruction I give him, otherwise he just walks away and forgets what I’ve said within 2 steps.

*    Being in the Religious Education program at our new church this year, Jacob has demonstrated the ability to sit in a classroom (most often beside Geneva, but not always) and act in an appropriate manner, without getting up and walking around, or being disruptive (again, for the most part, although Geneva has on occasion come home with tales of Jacob sending the class into fits of giggles with his comedic efforts).

*    That said, it’s virtually impossible for him to sit through a dinner at (for instance) a fast food restaurant without getting up and circling the nearby tables in what I like to call his effervescent mode — although he himself refers to his quirky jerks and hand flapping as more of a sensation like an electrical charge.  If he’s locked into a booth and can’t get out to walk around, he quivers and jiggles and leg-bounces  so much that the people in the neighboring booth feel like they just put a quarter in a vibrating hotel room bed.  It might be the sugar in the soda … Scratch that, I’m positive it’s the rootbeer.

*    Incrementally, the night owliness has settled down, and most nights he is asleep before 11.  That’s a big Win in my book.

*    School work — the ADD meds have been helpful, though he doesn’t have as great a need for them as many do.  Some days we can get along without any, so I just play it by ear.

*    Still into Star Wars; still into You-Tube surfing for Lego Starwars Videos; still into making Lego Star Wars review videos for his own youtube site; added an obsession with Dr. Horrible to his repertoire this year, and all things scientific; and still into listening to and  humming movie scores.  Not a lot of change on that front!

*    As has always been true for Jacob, he continues to exhibit an extremely positive attitude and has a terrific sense of humor about himself.  He’s very self aware in many ways, and despite his deficits, particularly in organizational skills, handwriting and math, he is a great communicator, very logical, extremely funny, asks insightful questions, delights in clarifying and explaining technical minutiae from the vast storehouse of facts in his sizable brain, and causes us all both exasperation and delight every day of his life.

So Thank you, Lord, for a year of learning and adjusting, and we ask your blessing upon this next year – because, Lord, he’s nearly 12, and his voice is getting deeper, and before I know it he’ll be a teenager, and that’s gonna be a whole new ballgame!